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  Sauron’s Blog #47: The Race of Men is a HUGE Disappointment

  06.27.09 | Permalink | Comment?

  So Eru decided to create a mortal race, the Elves, that looks like hairless albino apes. Fine, He likes primates. Then that talent-free dumbass Aulë made the Dwarves, which are just fat stunted Elves. Well sure, Aulë is as creative as the average colon, and produces the same product. No wonder his race is just a bad copy of Eru’s.

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  A History of Invented Languages — Sans Tolkien?

  06.03.09 | Permalink | Comment?

  On Salon today, a review by Andrew O’Hehir of Arika Okrent’s book In the Land of Invented Languages. The book seems very entertaining, but O’Hehir points out a bizarre flaw — it barely mentions Tolkien.

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  Sauron’s Blog #45: Why Does Everyone Care So Much About These Idiotic Rocks?

  05.14.09 | Permalink | Comment?

  This Fëanor guy, who sounds like he might have been pretty cool if he’d been on our side, created these three glowing crystals out of the Light of the Idiotic Trees. Indeed, it seems that the Stinking Valar Traitors might have been able to use the Silmarils to heal the trees, if Fëanor hadn’t refused to give them up. Good for him. But why Melkor chose to steal the Shiny Rocks of Stupidity is beyond me. In fact, if he had just left them for the Valar, they could have resuscitated the trees, and we wouldn’t have to hide from a Sun or a Moon. Good work, Melkor!

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  Sauron’s Blog #43: Ow, The Light! My Eyes! Again!!!

  04.22.09 | Permalink | Comment?

  Well, Morgoth and I were still debating which of us would kill Tilion and which would consume The Moon, denying the world its light forever, when the unthinkable happened. From the East, a terrible bright burning started to rise from the horizon, which resolved into a bright, white light shifted toward the yellow. The firmament turned blue as this terrible light extinguished The Moon and the stars.

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  Check out these LOTR-themed cakes

  02.16.09 | Permalink | Comment?

  Via the Cake Wrecks blog, which overall is much more entertaining than it sounds, some LOTR-inspired cakes.

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  Take the “Super-hard” LOTR Movie Quiz

  01.13.09 | Permalink | 1 Comment

  I created a quick 10-question Lord of the Rings movie quiz for Facebook/Flixter. “Hard” of course is relative. The kind of people who visit Tolkien blogs may not feel too challenged.

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  How Tolkien inspired D&D

  11.18.08 | Permalink | Comment?

  First, there’s the simple fact that Tolkien’s innovations are so great that they have, ironically, come to be considered “generic.” In fact, they only appear that way because the genre of Modern Fantasy is something Tolkien himself largely created: he is the exemplar that defines the category. The very idea of a player character party — a group of diverse individuals of differing races with differing talents and specialties who set off on an adventure together — is a uniquely Tolkienian innovation, unprecedented in earlier fantasy, where we either have a hero, or a hero & a sidekick.

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  This week on eBay: Jackson LOTR Pachinko

  11.13.08 | Permalink | Comment?

  I used to own a pachinko machine. It was an old one from the late seventies, and was sumo-themed. Of course there was no computer and no video screen. I loved that thing. But pachinko is probably the dullest game in existence, barring baccarat. This Lord of the Rings movie pachinko machine is for sale on eBay for $160 (but shipping to US is another $90).

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  Worst. Tolkien. Reference. EVAR.

  11.09.08 | Permalink | Comment?

  Seriously. It’s the dumbest Tolkien reference ever made.

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  How LOTR saved the international indie film biz

  11.07.08 | Permalink | Comment?

  The Lord of the Rings had a positive impact on independent and foreign-language film markets around the world. Shortly after a major slump hit those markets in 2001, the first part of the trilogy pumped money into the overseas distribution companies that had helped finance LOTR. They in turn put that money into buying more films, helping bring the slump to an end.

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Periannath.com

Aiya! Periannath.com is a weblog for the genuine Tolkien aficionado. There are no 13-year-old Orlando Bloom fans here. Get news and features about the writings, the legendarium, the languages, collectibles and games, and yes, the movies.

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