FARK.com directed me to this, a post on The Correctness blog entitled “10 Reasons why Gandalf is a terrible wizard,” authored by Admin_rock. Now, lest ye think I was immediately offended by the very existence of such a post, the fact is it’s something I easily could have written myself. Yes, Gandalf is my favorite literary character, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take him down a few pegs.
No, the reason I decided to write a point-by-point response to this post isn’t because I felt the need to rush to Gandalf’s defense, but because I don’t think the post is very well thought-out. If you’re going to go after Mithrandir, Admin_rock, at least put some real effort into it.
The original post hobbles itself by criticizing only the cinematic Gandalf; my response shall include the literary wizard as well.
1. He’s almost undone before things get going Gandalf avoids the temptation of the ring from the get-go
I don’t know what movie Admin_rock was watching, but Gandalf was not “tempted by [the Ring] at Bilbo’s place.” Both the movie and book Gandalfs (Gandalves?) manage to avoid the temptation of the ring – they never come close to giving in. Don’t get me wrong – Gandalf is tempted, sorely. But he never comes close to succumbing, as opposed to Saruman or (arguably) Galadriel.
2. Gets suckerpunched by Saruman Gets sucker-punched by Saruman, and escapes unharmed
First of all, it’s hardly fair to criticize Gandalf for being betrayed, defeated and kidnapped by the leader of his own order. Saruman had hidden his turn to evil from everyone, including Elrond and Galadriel. And he was more powerful (if less wise) than Gandalf. Also, Saruman had an indestructible tower built by the Númenóreans, while all Gandalf had was a stick.
Second – well, the movie and the book are very different on how Gandalf escaped from Orthanc. In the movie, Gandalf is proactive, using his five dots in Animal Language: Moths to send for an Eagle savior. Admin_rock compares this one instance of Cinematic Gandalf’s power – talking to moths – and compares it to Cinematic Saruman’s weather control, orc creation and enemy teleportation abilities. Let’s forget that Cinematic Gandalf kills a freaking balrog. And that’s Gandalf the Grey, he hasn’t even received his upgrade to White yet.
As for Literary Gandalf, well, he doesn’t rescue himself from Orthanc at all, except by coincidence (and in Tolkien’s world, “coincidence” equals “intervention by Eru Ilúvatar”).
What Admin_rock is missing here is that Saruman and Gandalf are very different types of wizard. Saruman is the tower-dwelling, machine-building, minion-commanding, brooding-over-a-magic-ball type of wizard, while Gandalf is the wandering, storytelling, living-with-elves, sitting-in-the-corner-smoking-a-pipe kind of wizard. Yes, Saruman is generally better at ass-kicking, but there’s more to life than ass-kicking. And let me reiterate – balrog.
One more thing; if Gandalf can kick a balrog’s ass, why doesn’t he ever kick Saruman’s? The reason is obvious, since Gandalf actually explains it – balrogs are irredeemably evil, but Saruman is not. Gandalf hopes (in vain, as it turns out) that Saruman will switch back to good.
3. Gets suckerpunched by Saruman again Gets sucker-punched by the power of Caradhras
Here’s an instance where Gandalf actually does take one on the chin. In the movie, Saruman uses his seemingly godlike weather-control powers to block the Pass of Caradhras. In the book, it’s the malevolent force of the mountain itself that blocks the way. Either way, the Fellowship is forced to seek a path through Moria.
As for Gandalf being a terrible wizard? Movie: we established that Saruman was the more powerful wizard. Book: Gandalf never claimed to be able to defeat freakin’ mountains. Anyway, what kind of a story would LOTR be if Gandalf could teleport the Fellowship past every obstacle? They might as well all fly eagles to Mordor.
4. Gets outsmarted by a hobbit Receives invaluable aid from the smartest of the hobbits
In the movie, Frodo is the one who figures out the “Speak Friend and Enter” riddle at the Doors of Durin. In the book, it’s Gandalf himself.
Is Cinematic Gandalf an idiot, as Admin_rock implies, for not guessing the “4th grade level riddle?” Please. Like Admin_rock was sitting in the movie theater, guessing the riddle before Frodo did. As if.
5. He’s kind of a dick, too
Well, duh. Why do you think he’s my favorite character?
6. Didn’t watch his footing Gandalf defeats the balrog and saves the Fellowship
Admin_rock thinks Gandalf is a terrible wizard because he couldn’t take down a balrog with one simple strike against a rock bridge. Let’s take a moment to handicap this battle, BALROG v. MITHRANDIR.
The balrog is the physical manifestation of an evil Maia, a demonic being of the First Age, so scary it’s the only thing Legolas shows any fear towards in the whole story. It’s clad in a 20-foot-tall fiery horned demon body with penguin wings, and carries a long fiery whip.
Gandalf is the physical manifestation of a good Maia, an angelic being of the Uttermost West, so beatific that Círdan the Shipwright gives him his Elven Ring of Power. Unfortunately, he’s clad in a 5-foot-tall ornery old man and carries a stick. No fire, no horns, no whip. Just a gray dressing gown and an old sword. Yet Gandalf still manages to kill the balrog, although he dies as well.
Pull out your copy of The Silmarillion and look at the long list of Great Heroes of the First Age killed by balrogs. Yet Gandalf kills a balrog, while in human form, after falling down a bottomless pit and then climbing to the top of the Misty Mountains. Let’s see Saruman try that!
7. Needs a second life Gandalf is sent back to Middle-earth to complete his great work
I’m not sure what Admin-rock’s criticism is here. He accuses Gandalf of lying about why “they” (this would be the Valar) sent Olórin back to Middle-earth as Gandalf the White, and describes how the new Gandalf is able to overcome Saruman’s control of King Théoden and rally reserve forces for the Battle of Helm’s Deep. It all seems like badassery to me.
I’ll agree with Admin-rock that Cinematic Gandalf does show up a bit late at Helm’s Deep, when 98% of the Men and 100% of the Elves were already dead. (Don’t get me started about Elves at Helm’s Deep. Just don’t.)
8. Leaves Ultra-Powerful Crystal Ball lying around
I have to agree with Admin_rock on this one, Gandalf really dropped the ball. Get it? Dropped the ball?
9. Beats down a grieving father Gandalf assumes the duties of the maddened Denethor
Here we’re again faced with some serious differences between movie and book, so let’s look at the Jackson version. Grieving over the death of his son Boromir, Denethor refuses to prepare a defense against the oncoming armies of Mordor – so Gandalf conks him on the head and takes over himself. As far as cinematic shorthand goes, Admin_rock is correct in saying this is questionable behavior. Whereas Literary Denethor was actually driven mad by the images shown to him by Sauron through a palantír, forcing Gandalf to take over as de facto leader of the Minas Tirith defense.
Admin_rock thinks Gandalf could have done more to save Denethor from self-immolation. I just reviewed the appropriate pages in the book, and Literary Gandalf does try to stop Denethor, but could not. As for Cinematic Gandalf? I have to admit that his attitude toward Denethor was rather cold – he seemed willing to let the Denethor problem solve itself, as long as Faramir was okay. Still, that doesn’t make him a bad wizard. Rather, it means he made a hard tactical decision in the middle of a pitched battle.
10. Total lack of Wizard Type actions in battle Gandalf restrains himself in battle
Admin_rock seems most upset that Gandalf is not some kind of Dungeons & Dragons/Harry Potter-type spell-casting wizard, when in fact this is Gandalf’s best quality. Here’s a list of reasons that Gandalf does not blast his foes with Magic Missiles ten times per round:
- Magic does not work that way in Tolkien’s world. There are very few “spells,” and magic items are exceedingly rare. Magic exists in the world and of the world, and is a part of who you are and your relationship to the world. To Elves, magic is like breathing, and they don’t even understand what the word “magic” means. To Gandalf, “magic” is wisdom and understanding, not Bigby’s Masturbating Hand.
- Gandalf was sent (by the Valar) to Middle-earth to gently aid the forces of Good in their struggle against Sauron, not to fight the war for them. He’s a friend and counselor, not a warrior. He only fights at Minas Tirith because Sauron has driven Denethor mad.
- Gandalf possesses Narya, the Ring of Fire, one of the three hidden Elven Rings of Power. If he uses its abilities in battle, Sauron will become aware of its location, and Gandalf will find himself fighting nine Ringwraiths instead of one.
Now, does this mean we can’t criticize Gandalf? Of course not. He did make that mistake with the palantír. I would also add the following:
1. Gandalf doesn’t give a crap about people of color
Although Gandalf is said to have traveled in the East, he doesn’t seem to care about the fates of any Men except the blond-haired, blue-eyed Men of the West – and of course, Elves and Hobbits. With Radagast and the Blue Wizards pretty much out of the picture, who is going to fight for the Easterlings and Southrons?
2. Gandalf left Frodo alone with the Ring while he set off to consult with Saruman
Biggest. Mistake. Ever.
3. Told Frodo to wait until September to leave the Shire, setting the Fellowship up for a winter journey
Second biggest mistake ever.
Feel free to agree with me in the comments below!
Read the original post here.
[...] 10 Reasons Why Gandalf is The Greatest Wizard Evar [...]
Hang on, I thought it was Frodo who figured 20 yrs isn’t too short a time to pack and set off on a journey to save all of middle earth. That’s the impression I got from the book. Don’t have a copy on of right now so please clarify. Otherwise that Mithandir is probably the only Tolkein to even survive a one on one fight with a balrog is enough to declare him the best.
Well! This is the first time I have heard of somebody trying to down Gandalf. I thought we were all clear- at least,those of us that bother reading the bloody books- that Gandalf is a supporting character and not meant to solve everything for everybody. He isn’t medival Dumbledoor. He is a pivotal character, but Frodo is the main character. I would rather see a slam on Jackson for turning a brave hobbit into a whining wussy that spends most of the movie cowering or grimacing in pain. I much prefer Bakshi’s Frodo. He fought back, as Gandalf said a Hobbit might…..
I agree completely with cloud wolf. While I loved the visuals of it, I can’t watch the new movies because Frodo is so pathetic. It makes me so sad, seeing the brave, inspiring protagonist made into Sam’s annoying sidekick…
What exactly would you do with the Palantir? Look into it and have a friendly chat with Sauron? Anybody who would try that for too long would most certainly be a victim of madness, turned into brain-dead follower of Mordor, or worse. Even though we may see good chances of Gandalf winning a will battle between himself and Sauron, I don’t think he’d risk that. Not to say that Sauron would probably know his position soon enough, and make them primary target of the Nine. Also, maybe Sauron would see Gandalfs thoughts, and the whole plan.
That’s not how you spell ‘ever’, not ever!
Just read the comments for Admin_Rock…. Wow. These are the kind of people who stay on the web? Wow. A wise man once said intelligent conversation ends when it turns from wise debate to petty arguments and insults. It saddens me that America, and even the world, is reduced to calling each other tasteless names and cobbling together weak arguments.
Well I have some arguments of my own. First Gandalf is the greatest wizard because, on the contrary to the common belief he used very powerful magic: he could in varying degrees (from simple tricks to more deadly forms of it) create and manipulate light, fire, smoke, use illusions to appear taller and menacing, affecting the minds of others filling them with fear or strenghtening their courage, inspiring to fight (magical influence of Narya ring and his mental powers), these were more subtle examples, then there are feats which freaking rocks! He was able to cause objects to burst in flames, incinerate arrows in flight, heat up swords at distance, telekinetically remove weapons of his oponents (by rise of hand or staff), use the paralyzing force to prevent others from moving, ,,Legolas took his bow and bent it, slowly and as if some other will resisted him.”
,,’Did I not say that I wished to speak to you?’ said the old man. ‘Put away that bow, Master Elf!’
The bow and arrow fell from Legolas’ hands, and his arms hung loose at his sides.
‘And you, Master Dwarf, pray take your hand from your axe-haft, till I am up! You will not need such arguments.’
Gimli started and then stood still as stone, staring, while the old man sprang up the rough steps as nimbly as a goat.”
,,The old man turned away and went towards a heap of fallen stones and rock at the foot of the cliff behind. Immediately, as if a spell had been removed, the others relaxed and stirred.”
,,’Saruman!’ cried Gimli, springing towards him with axe in hand. ‘speak! Tell us where you have hidden our friends! What have you done with them? Speak, or I will make a dint in your hat that even a wizard will find it hard to deal with!’
The old man was too quick for him. He sprang to his feet and leaped to the top of a large rock. There he stood, grown suddenly tall, towering above them. His hood and his grey rags were flung away. His white garments shone. He lifted up his staff, and Gimli’s axe leaped from his grasp and fell ringing on the ground. The sword of Aragorn, stiff in his motionless hand, blazed with a sudden fire. Legolas gave a great shout and shot an arrow high into the air: it vanished in a flash of flame.” You see that, Gandalf’s power in full splendour :):). And there is much more, for example his ability to control the water, numerous spells and powers (like shutting spell on the door, Word of Command, blessings on beer :) and Bill the pony, opening spells in ,,languages of men, elves and orcs”, ability to cast lightning ,,But not Gandalf. Bilbo’s yell had done that much good. It had wakened him up wide in a splintered second, and when the goblins came to grab him, there was a terrific flash like lightning in the cave, a smell like gunpowder, and several of them fell dead.” , mental powers, mind reading, telepathy which allowed him to fight mentally with Sauron: ,,Very nearly it (the Ring) was revealed to the Enemy, but it escaped. I had some part in that: for I sat in a high place, and I strove with the Dark Tower; and the Shadow passed. Then I was weary, very weary; and I walked long in dark thought.’”). Then his wisdom and knowledge is great: “He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.” Gandalf FOTR p339. Ohh and one mistake in your arguments, gandalf never visited Rhun, he travelled through all west lands from the northern wastelands to the far south, Haradwaith where he gained a name Incanus, which apparently means ,,Spy of the North”, so he thought about other men of these regions, and he had enough compassion for them “Yet there are other men and other lives, and time still to come. And for me, I pity even his slaves.” Gandalf ROTK p105.