At the famous Pink’s Hot Dogs in Hollywood:

Don’t tell Christopher Tolkien –he’ll demand royalties.

So, it’s a “Lord of the Rings Dog” because it has onion rings on it. Right. And what’s the barbecue sauce in aid of? I don’t remember barbecues playing a central role in the trilogy.

Here are a few things that might conceivably make your hot dog a Lord of the Rings dog:

• It’s 9″ long, one inch for each member of the Fellowship.
• It’s smothered in stewed coney.
• It comes with a fresh basket of Farmer Maggot’s mushrooms.
• It’s wrapped in a mallorn leaf.
• It glows blue when Orcs are near.
• It’s delicious, but slowly turns you into a miserable wraith, an evil slave to the One Dog.

And rest assured that as soon as someone produces a Tolkien dog, someone will rush out a cheaper, less satisfying C.S. Lewis dog.