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The Red Book of Westmarch (Archives)

• Features, Opinion

  Making ‘The Hobbit’: Some suggestions for Sir Peter

  12.16.10 | Kunochan | Permalink | 10 Comments

  So you’re finally adapting The Hobbit. I know you already have your script approved and your storyboards laid down, but if it isn’t too late, may I humbly make a few suggestions, from one fan to another?

• Humor

  Tolkien Snaps!

  12.09.10 | Kunochan | Permalink | 2 Comments

  Here are the best insults from a lengthy Facebook thread earlier today. Add your own in the comments!

• Humor, Web Links

  Sauron’s Blog #68: It’s Been a Busy Five Centuries

  07.01.10 | Kunochan | Permalink | Speak, friend and comment!

  Another thing I’ve learned is that Celebrimbor is obsessed with recreating the Silmarils. It took a while for him to open up about this, as Galadriel and Gil-Galad both have come down on him for it. I encouraged him; but secretly, I think it’s a terrible idea. Those stupid rocks just drove people crazy, even Melkor, who stapled them to his head and walked around like a giant track lighting feature, whatever that is.

• Humor

  SauronFight #1: Sauron vs. Great Cthulhu

  05.11.10 | Kunochan | Permalink | 6 Comments

  SauronFight #1: Who can defeat the Dark Lord in a fight? This time: Great Cthulhu rises from the sea to face off against his world-destroying rival, the Lord of the Rings! Whoever prevails, the world is doomed!

• Features, Legendarium, Tolkien 101

  Tolkien 101: How to tell apart Saruman and Sauron

  04.13.10 | Kunochan | Permalink | 4 Comments

  As an aficionado of the original books, I find it strange that viewers of the Lord of the Rings movie trilogy have trouble telling the difference between the villain characters Sauron and Saruman. But I have heard from more than one intelligent, attentive moviegoer that they were confused on this issue. So let’s get this cleared up…

• Events, Legendarium, News

  Today in Middle-earth history: March 25th and the Downfall of Sauron

  03.25.10 | Kunochan | Permalink | Speak, friend and comment!

  Today in Middle-earth history: The destruction of the One Ring, the Downfall of Barad-dûr and the final defeat of Sauron Gorthaur; also, it’s Tolkien Reading Day!

• Humor, Web Links

  Sauron’s Blog #57: Three Idiots, One Day

  01.09.10 | Kunochan | Permalink | Speak, friend and comment!

  I leapt to my feet, summoned a storm of lighting and smothering darkness in the sky overhead; covered the forest floor for miles in all directions with a greenish miasma that sucked the life from all things; howled a terrible howl that chilled the Sun, froze the blood, and was remembered in the whispered mid-winter tales of every mortal tribe living within a thousand miles for centuries to come; and leapt again, ready to rend the limbs from the poncy little poltroon, consume his soul and crap it back out down his throat.

• Humor, Web Links

  Sauron’s Blog #56:That’s It, I QUIT!

  12.14.09 | Kunochan | Permalink | Speak, friend and comment!

  With post #52, Sauron’s Blog began the story of Beren & Lúthien (told from Sauron’s point of view). Now, the epic tale continues, as Sauron learns that Beren and Lúthien have stolen a Silmaril from the Iron Crown of Morgoth…

• Web Links

  Sauron’s Blog #53: Melkor has completely lost his mind

  11.08.09 | Kunochan | Permalink | Speak, friend and comment!

  With post #52, Sauron’s Blog began the story of Beren & Lúthien (told from Sauron’s point of view). Now, the epic tale continues, as Sauron chases Beren south into Doriath, where the Man will first encounter Arwen’s great-great-grandmother…

• Web Links

  Sauron’s Blog #51: Rooting Out Elves Is Like Digging for Chiggers

  09.30.09 | Kunochan | Permalink | Speak, friend and comment!

  …guess who gave these idiotic Elves the idea to build hidden cities? No, guess! Ulmo! Remember that asshole? He’s the Valar responsible for water. Wow, that’s great, Ulmo — you’re in charge of one entire molecule! Me, I designed the metaphysical template of the cosmos, and was responsible for designing all the transition elements and all the metals and metalloids. And antimatter. And dark matter. But you’ve got dihydrogen oxide. Good work, dude!

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