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Sauron’s Blog #47: The Race of Men is a HUGE Disappointment

06.27.09 | Kunochan | Speak, friend & comment!

Sauron’s Blog has been updated.

So Eru decided to create a mortal race, the Elves, that looks like hairless albino apes. Fine, He likes primates. Then that talent-free dumbass Aulë made the Dwarves, which are just fat stunted Elves. Well sure, Aulë is as creative as the average colon, and produces the same product. No wonder his race is just a bad copy of Eru’s.

But now we see Men, and guess what? If an Elf and a Dwarf had a kid (yuck), you’d have a Man. They’re just a stockier, shorter Elf, or a taller, thinner Dwarf. Great creativity there, Eru. Good work. Whadd’ya do, design Men between kippers at breakfast?

Plus, they have these bizarre, rounded ears. And they smell like poo all the time.

Read the latest entry here. Or, learn all the truth about that vicious book of Elven lies, by starting at the beginning.

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